Hi guys! We meet again~ (^.^) Well, I DID promise you that I would tell why I hate holidays ne? Besides, now in Malaysia we’re having our one-week holidays [And wondering that the election days’ just around the corner, it makes me damn boreeeddd seeing the same topic everyday on the newspapers. Huh... hate elections also.] (-_-) I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Let’s just get into the point shall we? (^_^)In the previous entries, I did say that I hate holidays cuz I might as well cut myself anytime during those days, since sometimes I just get outta control and might go berserk just like that. Mental probs... (^^;;;) Never think about it before until I... got addicted? Hm...
Okay, these are my reasons why do I abhor holidays:
1. No tutors at home.Obviously, those teachers would give us tons of homeworks, right? And so, since I am
NOT a genius, yet I’m
NOT soooo stupid either, but I damn need someone to assist me with these things!!! And now, I’m having a major hitch with my
Add Maths. Urghhh...
The teacher went for her Haji since January, and so we were all left behind. No substitutes, nothing. Plus, I’ve got
NO tuition classes like the others, and so I did the works alone, and my migraine... (><) Kill me anyone out there!!!
That’s the
main reason.
2. Sluggishness approaching...Yup! When I can’t get the idea on how to work out those probs, I would just lay around, knowing nothing to do, and so the works are left
unscathed like that. Although sometimes I DO have
some determination to finish up the works, [thanks
Hanae for always torturing me! (^_^) Love ya!] most of the time I would leave my workplace and...
3. Possibilities to torment self.(^^;;;) I would yeah... un... like what I always do, that is...
I have my own loyal
blade, a new branded
hammer [huh... I bought it with all my pocket money! I don’t even have any idea why...], and my dad’s
screwdriver. Oh, and my mom’s kitchen
scissors, which she told me that she wouldn’t use it anymore. Don’t worry if you’re gonna eat here, I wouldn’t use that scissors to cook! I guess that’s the most enormous effect on me if I couldn’t find any answers to all my homeworks.
Thus! That’s it. (^o^) Now you know why, huh? So, I prefer school days better than holidays like these... Yeah, I must admit that sometimes I
DO enjoy the holidays by reading my favourite fanfics and my novels too. But mainly, I would recall back all my school projects and homeworks, hence I went crazy. Again.
Sometimes, I don’t think I can take the pressure anymore and just give up what I have now. But sometimes when I think back all those things... It’s
hopeless. Even if I threw away all those achievements, all those triumph I’ve attained, I wonder how stupid I am to surrender just like that.
I NEED SUPPORT! That’s what I want! And... I’ve got no self-confidence because they’re no supporting props, nothing that I can handle with during all the way to succeed something.
Why I have got NO self-confidence?1. I kept on
losing in most of the competitions I’ve partaken.
2. Everyone seems to bother about themselves,
not me. Even if I did something successful, no one would actually care. That makes me a person who doesn’t even care about herself. I just participate in anything for no reason at all.
3. I think that every single choice I’ve made
didn’t make me an excellent person. Instead, it kept making me
worst than ever. Plus, I guess I’m not a person who can always gain success [despite my true name, which means ‘success’. Huh...] and I can always say that I’m an all-time-loser.
4. I gain
nothing for every feat I’ve attained.
Is that clear enough?
Arara... I’m getting back to my oh-so-depressing-self, again. (^^;;;) Though I’ve promised that I would be indomitable in everything I’m in. But no one is actually helping me! My parents carry on giving stupid advises:
“Don’t study too hard, you’re not going anywhere though.”
“Don’t do it if you don’t know the answer!”
“Leave it, ask your friend when school reopens.”
Yarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! (><)What kinda shits are you guys giving me??? You’re supposed to encourage me on those things, NOT discouraging me!!! Aiyo... My head hurts again... Note: Never scream or yell too hard. Huh...
Fine. Whatever it is, I won’t give up, is that what my mind’s trying to say?
I’m suck at writing.
So, you can still work out and make the best out of the best.
My English is TERRIBLE.
So what??? Atleast you CAN speak English and write better than last year! You can always get dictionaries, so that you can make those essays better.
I am soooo stupid when it comes to Add Maths.
Then go and ambush the teacher already!!! Ask her those fucking questions you’re confused with!
Every choice I made sucks.
Then??? Why are you so damn down-hearted? Those who make you like that are the ones who SUCK!!!
Oi, who are you anyway???
And who are you to yell at me like that, LOSER???
So what if I’m a loser??? You’re me and I’m you! LOSER!
I’m not a loser like you! Atleast I can always depend on someone to succeed this life!
WHO???
...Me, myself and I.
…………
Satisfied?
Damare.
=Tomo-chan=
Best Friend
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