B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D (^^;;;) « Chiming Charlotte

Monday, March 15, 2004

B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D (^^;;;)

Boyfriends? Boyfriends??? XD XD XD [Warghahahahahaha!!! That’s the funniest word I’ve ever heard!]

Oh okay, let me say something first... Since people are so damn sick with the way I wrote the previous entries, which I think is all too... dramatic, despite my ferocious abilities to write, I’ve decided to make every inch of my bloggie a lil bit cheerful! Besides, I really think that even if I wrote with such a well... kinda like an expert writer [although I really suck at writing stories...], then no one would ever read my blog! Right? (^_^) Maybe in some kind of sad occasions, I will use dramatic poses of writing. Okay? [Now don’t complain to me saying that you can’t understand my blog well.]

Now on with the main topic, boyfriends ne?

*Tomomi laughing like mad again, rolling all over in the cat’s litter* Wargahahahahahaha!!! XD

Mutih: MEOWWW!!! [=Shut up kono yarou! My kids are sleeping!]

(-__-;;) Whatever Mutih... Let see, what made me wrote this topic? Well, somehow, I realised that every time I chatted with a man, then he would say “Don’t you have a boyfriend at this age?” “Hey, how come you don’t have one? Everyone has!” “Don’t tell me you don’t have any!” “Come on, what makes you DON’T like boys?”

*sweatdrop* Aha-ha-ha... FINE! I’ll tell you guys out there why I don’t have any of them! Besides, one of my favourite sis, Hanae, even asked me why I HATE HOLIDAYS, so I’m gonna insert that too in this entry. Too long? (^_^) Get over it, as long as I like it, then why should you guys care? Ne?

As for me, boys are all hopeless. NOT ALL, but those whom I knew since before ARE hopeless... They remained like shits sometimes, wondering how come I don’t have any bfs, hence, I HATE MEN. I’m not saying that I’m a lesbian, but really... I don’t think I ever trust in any boys anymore. Wanna know why?

I got hurt lots of times before.

Heh, this was all because of those people out there who somehow urged me to find a boy by myself, otherwise I’m not perfect enough to be their friend. I once told you I was STUPID, and so I guess I couldn’t do anything than to make an idiotic move and started to search for a boy. As, humans really need to be loved, otherwise they won’t love, right? The nun in Saiyuuki once told Gono this... Except that I’ve changed the whole sentence to a passive voice. (^__^)

Say, while I was in Standard Six, I fell for this nerd. (^^;;;) REALLY! I’ve told ya I WAS STUPID enough to choose! But heck, it’s a looooong story why I fell on him though... better if I keep that as my secret. Nee, not long after that before I was gonna sit for UPSR, I’ve confessed my feelings to a friend, and she informed that boy that I really like him. Arghhh... I know I shouldn’t believe in her. I don’t know but Malays are trying to get rid of me!!! [NOT ALL!!! Hanae’s a Malay too, but she never cheats me like that! So do my other sisters! ] Huh... nah, forget about that girl, and on with the next, shall we?

Therefore, when he knew that I liked him, he started to think ‘How great I am, a girl likes me!’ and he became DAMN ‘perasan’ towards himself. [I don’t know what’s the perfect phrase for ‘perasan’ in English! Gomen~ (^m^) ] Well, not long after that he started to spread the whole thing about me liking him [a NERD, he was (-_-)] and the WHOLE school knew about it when he...

READ MY DIARY? Aha-aha-aha... (^^;;;;) I... don’t want to talk about it! Such a silly thing to happen! I’m so damn careless!!!

Okay, now you know why huh? Not only that, I somehow forgave him, but I’ve promised him that I wouldn’t see him anymore, as he would make me sick. (-__-|||) Erghhh... you’ll know what I mean once you meet him...

Then, while I was in my Third Form [Or in Singapore, Secondary Third... Is it right?] I fell again for another boy, a... well, a slump? Wai... he looked just like a winter melon! And he’s so cute! (-__-;;;) I don’t know why the hell my tastes those days were horrible... Other people said that he’s as round as a watermelon... but as for me, he’s just like a... winter melon? XD Whatever, those things were history though. My tastes had changed looong time ago.

Okay, back to where I was... As a quite... ‘brave’ girl, I was the one who told him I liked him. How shameless I was that time, I don’t even know... Perigi cari timba. [Arghhh!!! (><)] He... rejected me though, saying that I can always be a perfect wife, but NEVER be a perfect girl!!! He told me I was ‘TOO nice’ and he didn’t want me to be his gf as he would make me ‘damaged’. What the heck he told me that time, I don’t even know until...

I realised that he said that as he wanted a girl who could always lend him her body to touch, to hold, to... whatever (-__-) Thinking about it make me sicker... Those girls must be damn stupid, maybe stupider than me to have a bf like that, knowing only to touch here and there. What? Do lovers REALLY do have to make love? Huh... chigaimasu yo! As for me, I don’t agree! Sansei ja nai!!! (><) I guess I have chosen the wrong person to give all my love to him... huh? Eh, it’s not love, it’s just a ‘like’!!! Careless mistake...

Say, I sometimes think that atleast he said that for MY sake, as he didn’t want to make me a new person, a perverted one. So, I kinda appreciate that, although since then I started to think boys are disgusting. All they think about is... Ch, ‘that’ thing, what else? Well maybe those goody-goody boys would disagree with me, but that’s what the fact is. Even my P.E teacher told me that!!! XD Wai... I DID laugh you know???

Okay, done with liking boys, I started to stay quite and act dumb to boys, and be an anti-boys kinda girl. Just to make sure I wouldn’t make enough humiliations no more with some other boys... I started to befriend Chinese boys, as I know they can always be trusted and all they think is study, study, study! So I won’t have any worries on having a crush on them cuz I WON’T! [Although I DO have some likings towards Chinese boys, as I’m also a Chinese...(^_^;;) ] I’m NOT saying that Malays and Indians aren’t always thinking about positive things, but only SOME of you guys out there just want to study right? Well, what about the others? Ask them, and then you’ll know what I mean. (^^;;;) Don’t blame me, okay? I said that: NOT ALL!!! If you sued me, that means you’re soooooooo blind!

Hehehe... okay, continue please! Say, while I was in my Fourth Form, another NERD liked me, and he was a best friend of mine. I did understand him, as he was acting like how I used to act while I was in my Standard Six. So... well, immature. That’s what I call myself of the past. IMMATURE. Things won’t go straight once you know that you’re immature, so did I. I felt too... mortified. I had no idea about it, until I met some people who are all trying to understand me, and they work hard to straighten my life. (^_^)

Iroiro arigatou mina-san! I’ll always remember what have you guys done to me.

Oh, about that boy huh? Let me just... describe him as ‘S’. He’s nice you know... But the problem was that S was too... childish. My friend, Nad, was his first crush that year. Even Nad feels like laughing now, ne? Poor him... I guess I shouldn’t let him down but well... I don’t want to be teased afterwards for having a ‘child’ as my bf. I know he liked me, but that didn’t mean that I would like him as well. Know why?

Not long after Nad and me rejected him, he got himself a new crush. (-__-;;;) Wai... what if he searches for another girl once I become his gf? Arghhhh... I hate things like these. Whatever, atleast he knew what was he that time, and I really hope he’s succeeding on having a perfect girl for him. I won’t care anymore. He had got his own life, I’ve got my own here... So, to shut up and do our own business is the best to do. Sansei da no? Dou omoimasu ka? (^^) What dya’ think?

However, I have sworn to myself NOT to fall for any guy just yet, not until I reach 40. (^^;;;;) 40??? Oh sorry, I should have said 60, gomen! [Wargahahaha!!! XD] As for me, studying is the most important thing for now, and I’ve promised NOT to make any fuss around like a chimp... I won’t make myself embarrassed anymore cuz I’ve faced those things so many before... I NEED A BREAK! (><) SPM! SPM! [Yeah, and so I pressure myself with that word, SPM, all over and over again whenever I feel like falling for some guy. (^^) Perfect idea huh?]

I must say, I almost fall for a guy NOW! Arghh... but he’s a freak, I must admit that in my mind, nevertheless, he’s too good for me, and he told everyone in school that he’s already had a gf, loud...ly. (^^;;;;) Whatever, I hate him now, as he’s also one of the kinds I hate. Not really actually since, he’s my schoolmate though. We have to work for so many things and so, he’s Malay. I’m trying to get rid of ‘liking Malays’ from now on, I just don’t know why but... I’ve got other secrets, which I think they’re not necessary to be told somehow...

Just consider that I don’t like SOME [DON’T SUE ME LAH!!! (><) How many times should I tell you not to???] Malay boys [NOT girls, mind that! Well, some Malay girls... quite untrustworthy, just read my bloggie entry “Uragiri”, then you’ll know what I mean] and until now, I keep on telling myself not to butt in their business anymore becuz...

I’VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS ABOUT MALAYS. [(-___-) I’ve told you don’t SUE me!!! I’ll kill you if you do.]

That’s why you can see me sitting in the corner, reading, than to wander around and talk like a gorilla. (^^;;;) Ano... do gorillas are as noisy as chimps? I...don’t... know...

Oh okay, before that... Since EDWIN is the only classmate of mine who knows about me ALMOST fall for a guy in our school, I want you to keep that shut!!! [You don’t know him well, though] Or I’ll surely ban Chinese boys in my life too. You got that? Good. I know you can always be trusted. (^_^)

Say... I guess that’s it. Do ask me anything if you’re confused with something about this topic. [Quite sensitive huh? GREAT! (^o^) ] Whatever it is, I guess I’ll tell you about holidays later on, gomen ne Hanae-chan!!! I can’t make this too long, otherwise... *realises the readers glaring* Un...(^^;;;) I just can’t!

See you later guys!!! (^.^) Again, gomen nasai ne, Hanae-chan! [I know you won’t even care, but heavens... You’re my lil sis damn it!!! (><) I’ll apologise on whatever I do! Well, elders should give up first ne? Sometimes, we are the ones who give advises. (^^) But as for me, you’re the one who always gives me tons of advises. ] Weiirdd~ that’s world.

PS: For those Ayumi fans out there, have you heard “NO Way To Say”, “Angel’s Song” and “Ourselves”? *swoons* Warghhhhhh!!! (><) They’re damn great! I heard the MIDIs only, and I already love them!!! Memorial Address album, ne? I’ll BUY it no matter how much it costs!!! [Ahahaha... a BIGGG fanatic fan I am, ne guys? (^^;;;;) Whatever it is... I LOVE AYUMI!]

***********************

Choosing only the things you like isn't irresponsible.

If you can't find anything you like then why do you accept the responsibility?

I take only the possibilities that I'm ready to accept.

If it's something you don't need, then sympathy is of no use at all.

If it's something important the pain will probably accompany it.

Loneliness that you feel together is worse than a loneliness that you feel by yourself.

No matter what, loneliness comes...no matter what pain you feel,

You mustn't close your eyes to it.

Because even if you lose all your words, even if you say it doesn't matter,

If you stumble it will be there to help you up.

That's what kind of thing it is.

~ Adapted from ‘Surreal’ by Hamasaki Ayumi ~

What’s ‘it’ anyway? Answers please? Onegai...

= Tomo-chan =

Posted at 11:23 pm by Tomomi-chan

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